I struggled with the mechanics of meditation for years. I stared at a candle flame but couldn't process how to let go. These days I am the sky and most thoughts are easily understood to be clouds. I can choose to watch them, see amusing shapes in them, ignore them or get swept up in the accompanying winds and precipitation. I can appreciate the warmth of the sunshine should it be that sort of day. I can struggle with the cold should that be what my mind works itself into.
I remind myself that this is the only moment that is tangibleand that life is simply a series of moments. I am trying to live in my moments instead of miring down into a past I cannot, often, understand or a future that I cannot predict. What happiness is there in being out of awareness?
How I came to be who I am "now" occasionally occupies my mind. I am relentlessly "coming to be" and yet find my preference is to shed who I am in danger of becoming. Listen here for an important perspective on existence from Alan Watts.
I concede that I am still an infant. The more I explore the more I realize I have more to explore.
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